 | Easy to Locate.
- She's either off on the horse or out in the barn. |
| Upholds the double standard
- Smooches with the most bewhiskered beast, but recoils when a man needs a
shave. |
| Owns one vacuum cleaner
- and operates it exclusively in the barn. |
| A social butterfly
- providing the party is given by another horsey woman. Falls asleep in her
soup at all other functions. |
| Economy minded
- Won't waste money on permanents, facials, or manicures. |
| A culinary perfectionist
- Checks every section of hay for mold but doesn't blink when she petrifies
dinner in the microwave. |
| Occasionally amorous
- but never leaves lipstick on your collar, at worst, slight trace of
chapstick. |
| Easy to outfit
- No need for embarrassing visits to uncomfortable little boutiques. She can
find all she wears at the local tackstore. |
| Features a selective sense of smell
- Bitterly complains about the sticky-sweet cigar smoke of others while
remaining totally oblivious to the almost visible aroma of her barn boots
drying next to the heater. |
| Unmistakable in a bathing suit
- She's the one whose tan starts at the nose, ends at the neck, and picks up
again at the wrists. |
| A dedicated club woman
- as long as the words "horse" or "riding" appear in its name.
|
| Has your leisure at heart
- Eliminates grass cutting by turning every square inch of lawn into pasture
which, in turn, converts itself into mud. |
| A master at multiplication
- She starts with one horse, adds a companion, and if it's a mare, she breeds
it. |
| Keeps an eagle eye on the budget
- Easily justifies spending six hundred dollars, but croaks when you blow ten
on bowling. |
| An Engaging conversationalist
- Can rattle on endlessly about training or breeding. |
| Socially aware
- Knows that formal occasions call for clean boots. |
| A moving force in the family
- House by house, she'll get you to move closer to horse country (and farther
away from your job.) |
| Easy to please
- A new wheelbarrow, custom boots, or even a folding hoof pick will win her
heart forever. |
| Sentimental fool
- Displays a minimum of six 8x10 color photos of the horse in the house and
carries a crumpled snapshot of you (taken before you were married) somewhere
in the bottom of her purse. |
| Shows her affection in unusual ways
- If she pats you on the neck and says: "you're a good boy," believe it or
not, she loves you. |
